I received my own threat-tastic email from Linden Lab today! It was so vague as to be meaningless, and whoever wrote it was so ashamed that they didn’t sign their name to it.

Dear Second Life Resident,

In September, the Adult Content Policy transition period will end, and in preparation, we recently reviewed parcel descriptions and classified advertisements. We noticed that, while either your parcel description or classified ad contains or references adult content, your land is not flagged as Adult. We’re writing to alert you to this oversight in your listing and let you know how easy it can be to address it. Please note that if you don’t take action, your listings may be removed from search results (though they will continue to incur full listing fees) and account restrictions may be imposed when the transition period ends.

How can you avoid this messiness and continue to reach your target audience with your listings? Simply comply with the Adult Content Policy by taking one of the following actions, if you have not already done so:

1. Private region owners, change your region rating to Adult.
2. If you rent, or if you own Mainland property then move to an Adult region (Zindra or Adult rated private region.
3. OR Remove any adult-themed content from your parcel description, classified ad and land (whichever is applicable).

For further detail, read the Adult Content Policy and tips.

Thank you,
Linden Lab Customer Support

As there was no way to reply directly, I filed a support ticket with the following content:

I received a vaguely threatening email that claimed that I have adult content in my land description and/or classified ad(s). I do not manufacture, sell, or participate in any activities or objects which would be considered in any way adult. Without some sort of specific information as to what land and/or classified ad Linden Lab finds objectionable, I can only assume that I received the email in error. I would have liked to respond directly to whomever made the mistake, but the email did not contain any names or other contact information. Thank you for your attention in this matter. Have a great day!

On the off-chance that I hear back from them, and assuming they remain vague and just point me towards the TOS, I’ve already drafted a follow-up:

The TOS and Adult Policies seem to me to be as vague and un-helpful as the original threat-tastic email. I remain fairly certain that I received the email in error. Without specific information to the contrary, I am at a loss as to what I am expected to do, in order to comply with vague and mysterious, unspecific requirements.

Having said that, I would like to direct your attention to the relevant sections of my own Terms of Service, which Linden Lab automatically agreeds to every time they accept payments via my credit card:

4. The virtual regions known collectively as [the Estate] Colonial Waikiti shall be treated as sovereign territory. Regardless of where Linden Lab physically houses the server(s) upon which the virtual lands are stored, by merit of being virtual said lands are an entity unto themselves. In cases where “real life” and the virtual world are at odds, the aforementioned regions shall be governed by the laws of Canada in the province of Ontario.

Thanks again, and have a great day!

Mind you, I don’t expect to get very far fighting with ‘the man’ virtual as he may be. But they annoy me with their hubris and BS.